


Don't Let Me Go

by annajustice



Series: They're Good Together [11]
Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annajustice/pseuds/annajustice
Summary: Hailey is taken back to a dark place while out on the job, Jay tries his best to help her out of it.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Series: They're Good Together [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138988
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	Don't Let Me Go

“Clear!” Hailey shouts, motioning for Jay to enter the open room. Jay moves past her, gun raised, taking the clear path along the wall to cross the room. Hailey follows just a few feet behind.

Jay breaks away, turning to face the other way. “Stairs.” He calls out, pausing at the top to wait for his partner. Hailey appears behind him a few moments later, he looks over his shoulder. “You good?” He asks, and Hailey nods. Jay takes it as an invitation to descend the concrete stairs. They both had their guns raised at the empty room, moving in sync. 

They reach the bottom and Jay motions for Hailey to cross him, giving her lead. They move like a well oiled machine throughout the dark and damp room, eventually deciding they were all alone. “This place is nasty.” Hailey says, grimacing as she walks to meet Jay in the middle of the room. 

Jay nods, looking around. “Yeah…” He touches her forearm gently. “You wanna start upstairs and I’ll look around down here? This guy’s never given me bad info before, there’s gotta be something here…” Jay trails off, referring to his CI. 

“Sure.” Hailey says, heading for the stairs. “Be careful.” She throws over her shoulder.

Jay smiles, “You too.” Watching his girlfriend walk away.

Hailey ascended the stairs, careful not to touch anything. She was half convinced just looking at the handrail would give her tetanus. She found herself praying Jay was taking extra precautions, the last thing she wanted to do was take him to get a tetanus shot. 

She moved around the room, flashlight pointed at the dilapidated floor. There were torn blankets and old takeout bags everywhere, not to mention the broken bottles and needles. She was bending down to open a bag when there was a clanking noise downstairs. She looked up, but before she could call out, there was a loud pop.

_Pop! Hailey’s head snapped up, the noise coming from the floor underneath her. “Jay!” She yelled. No answer. She jumped up off the floor, almost tripping down the stairs in her haist. “Jay!” She screamed again, pulling her gun out of her holster._

Hailey felt all of her breath leave her body as she jumped up from the floor. “Jay?” She called out, panicked. Her feet had a mind of their own and before she knew it, she was racing across the room for the stairs. She pulled her gun out of her holster…

_She froze momentarily when she rounded the corner, her gun raised. It took her all of two seconds to notice her partner on the ground. “Jay.” She said, her voice breaking. She ran to him, crouching down over him. His chest rising and falling rapidly. Blood was everywhere, soaking his shirt, staining the floor. “Jay. Stay with me Jay.” She said, pressing her hands to the wound._

Hailey reached the bottom of the stairs, freezing in place when she saw the man on the floor. Her eyes were trained on him and the puddle of blood underneath him. Someone stepped forward, kicking the gun in his hand out of reach. Hailey took a cautious step forward, lowering her own gun. 

_“Stay with me Jay.” She cried, “Don’t leave me.”_

“Hailey?” Someone said. Her eyes snapped up, recognizing that voice anywhere. Her blurred vision cleared at the sight of her boyfriend standing above the man, very much alive. She took a breath for what felt like the first time in forever. Jay holstered his gun, staring at her cautiously. “He came in through the door over there and immediately pulled on me. I called for an ambo, but he’s gone-” Hailey cut him off by launching herself into his arms. Jay caught her easily, holding her closely to him. “Are you ok?” He asked after she pulled away.

Hailey nodded, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah. You just scared me.” 

“Okay…” Jay said, not really believing her. “I’m gonna call for backup, you wanna get the team down here?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Hailey said, pulling out her phone with slightly shaky hands.

Jay took a few steps forward, reaching out to cup her cheek. “Hailey.” He said, forcing her to look at him. “I’m fine, I promise.” 

Hailey pulled away, flashing her best fake smile. She pecked his cheek quickly before anyone arrived, “I know.”

**…**

_“Jay!”_

The noise echoed through her, her desperate screams plaguing her mind.

_“Jay! Stay with me!”_

All she could see was the blood, his blood. All over her hands, her clothes, the floor.

_“Don’t leave me, you can’t leave me. Jay!”_

Her breathing picked up, she whimpered quietly.

_“Don’t leave me…”_

A loud beep sounded in her head, the noise deafening. 

“No!” She screamed, shooting up. Hailey held a hand to her chest, trying to calm herself down as tears poured out of her eyes. 

The bed shifted next to her and the next thing she knew, she was being blinded by the light of the lamp on the bedside table. “Hailey?” Jay asked, groggily but panicked. “Are you okay?” Hailey felt his hand on her thigh, she grabbed it immediately, squeezing it tightly. She needed something, anything, to prove that he was real and here with her. She shook her head, not trusting her own voice. Jay felt his heart clench in his chest, “Shhh, come here.” He said, pulling her into his arms as she sobbed. 

Hailey clinged to him desperately, holding tightly onto his chest. She didn’t trust that he wouldn’t just vanish if she let go. “Don’t let me go.” She said quietly. 

Jay heard her quiet plea loud and clear, holding her even tighter. “I won’t. I won’t.” He said, trying to calm her. He rocked them back and forth gently, kissing the top of her head. He and Hailey had been together for the better part of three months, he knew her. He knew she had just as many demons as he did, but something like this had never happened before and he had no idea what to do. 

Eventually, the pained cries turned to sniffles and Hailey pulled away slowly. Jay went to stand, attempting to get her some water and maybe some tissues, but Hailey grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave.” 

Even in the dim glow of the lamp light, Jay could see the fear in her eyes. He shifted back into bed immediately. “Hailes, I’m not going anywhere.” He reached out, running his hand through her blonde hair. Hailey closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. Jay heard her breathing slow, so he continued, pushing the matted hair out of her face. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asked quietly.

Hailey tenses, swallowing hard. Her eyes shot open, the horrid images resurfacing. “Y-You died.” She said, looking him straight in the eye. 

Jay sucked in a breath. “What?” The word just sort of tumbled out of his mouth. He shifted his body so that he was sitting right in front of her. He cupped her cheeks, holding her defeated gaze. “Hailey, I’m right here.” 

Hailey averted her gaze, landing on his bare chest. She reached out, running her fingers over the scar left behind by the bullet that almost took him from her. “You weren’t though.” She ran her hand across his chest, holding it over his heart. She felt it beat, steady and strong. He was _alive_ and he was _here_ , with her. She snapped out of her daze, wiping the tears from under her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She said, shifting back to lean against the bed frame. 

“What?” Jay asked, “No, Hailey, what are you sorry for…”

Hailey shrugged, “Waking you up, freaking out, acting like a psycho…” She trailed off. 

“Hailey, you had a nightmare. You aren’t acting crazy. Everyone has nightmares.” He said, leaning against the headboard next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

She could hear the genuine concern in his voice, and she nodded. It felt strange for a moment, because if he had asked her that six months ago she would have chugged a beer and left. But now, she wanted to tell him, she wanted to work through it with him. “I used to have nightmares all the time.” She confessed. “About that day. Either I was too late or the ambulance was too slow. It was different every time, but they all ended the same way.” 

Jay looked at her in disbelief, all this was because of him? “I’m so sorry.”

Hailey hated the guilt that was clear in his voice, she didn’t blame him. “There was a long time where I couldn’t close my eyes and not see you bleeding on the floor. Your blood everywhere.” Hailey shifted, leaning her head on his shoulder. “And today, when you shot that guy. It felt just like that day, and I was convinced I was going to find you bleeding on the floor in that basement. _Again._ ”

Jay reached out, grabbing her hand that was resting in her lap. “Hailes I-How long did this go on? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Hailey laughed, “Jay, we were just partners then. I was too afraid to tell you I had feelings for you, you really think I was going to tell you I was dreaming about you dying for a month?” 

“A month?” Jay asked, turning to face her. 

Hailey shrugged, “Maybe two. But I got through it, tonight was the first time in a long time.” Jay was at a loss for words and Hailey could tell, this is half the reason she never said anything. She could see that the guilt was already eating him up. “This isn’t your fault Jay.” She said, cupping his cheek. 

Jay shook his head, “How could it not be?” He pulled her to him, feeling an overwhelming need to touch her. “I’m so sorry.” He said again. 

Hailey sighed into his embrace, she didn’t know how to convince him that he has nothing to be sorry for. Hailey pulled away, looking him straight in the eye. “Jay Halstead, you are the best man that I have ever known.” She took a deep breath, “And I love you.” She watched a smile cross his face, her own following. “And that is what I was going to tell you that day in the hospital, a week after we went to hell and back. I loved you then and I love you now. You have nothing to be sorry for.” 

They sat there, just staring at each other. Jay grinned, leaning in and capturing her lips with his. Hailey’s hands immediately found his hair, tangling themselves in it. Jay pulled her on top of him, wrapping his hands around her waist to hold her flush against him. Hailey trailed a hand down his neck to his check, kissing him passionately. 

Jay pulled away, breathless. “I am so in love with you.” He confessed, cupping her face. Hailey smiled, attaching their lips again. They rolled over, so that Jay was hovering over her, trailing kisses down her neck. Hailey cupped his, pulling him impossibly closer. 

“Way to cheer a girl up.” Hailey joked, hoping to lighten the mood a little more.

Jay fell down next to her on the bed, laughing. “Mission complete.” He said. Hailey rolled over, draping her leg across his and laying her head on his chest. Jay kissed her forehead, drawing patterns on her bare shoulder. “I’m never going to do that to you again,” He said, “I’ll never put you through that again.” 

Hailey peered up at him, “You can’t promise me that Jay, not in our line of work.” 

“Well,” He sighed, “I’ll never put myself in that position again? Is that fair?” 

Hailey laughed quietly, “Yeah, I think that’s fair.” They laid there for a while, neither of them really wanting to go back to sleep. “Jay,” Hailey said.

“Yeah?”

“The next time you see someone trying to shoot you, duck.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just randomly thought of this, and decided to write it at 1:00 in the morning, so here you go. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading! <3


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